Food Shortage : Brilliant One

A World wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant, In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!

Taxation and Social Justice - a funny explanation of how our economic system works!!

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for lassi and the bill for all ten comes to Rs.100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this: The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay Rs.1. The sixth would pay Rs.3. The seventh would pay Rs.7. The eighth would pay Rs.12. The ninth would pay Rs.18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay Rs.59. So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the lassi shop every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily lassi by Rs.20.' Lassis for the ten now cost just Rs.80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free, but what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the Rs.20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that Rs.20 divided by six is Rs.3.33. But if they subtracted that from everyone's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his lassi. So, the shop owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so: The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings). The sixth now paid Rs.2 instead of Rs.3 (33%savings) . The seventh now pay Rs.5 instead of Rs.7 (28%savings) . The eighth now paid Rs.9 instead of Rs.12 (25% savings). The ninth now paid Rs.14 instead of Rs.18 (22% savings). The tenth now paid Rs.49 instead of Rs.59 (16% savings). Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. 'I only got a rupee out of the Rs.20,' declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, 'but he got Rs.10!' 'Yes, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a rupee, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I did' 'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get Rs.10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks' Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor'. The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for lassi, so the nine sat down and had lassis without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking lassis overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

Note: The topic is very deep and the author hinted many things without going deep into subject, outline is there and this will give you many ideas and many things you see in life is around you.

how to spell ‘MISSISSIPPI’

A bus stop and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. An American woman is sitting across from them.
The woman isn't paying attention to their conversation at first, but her attention is grabbed when she hears one of the men says:

"Emma come firsta. Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"Hey…You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," shouts the lady indignantly.
"In this country, we don't speak a loudly in public places about our sex lives…….."

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'MISSISSIPPI'."

Cool Love Letter

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest swapna,

Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks.

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love

(b) you couldn't control seeing me

(c) really … am I doing it?

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling

(b) you are testing whether I like jokes

(c) you are attracted by my smile

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you
stopped singing because:

(a) you are so coy to sing before me

(b) my presence influenced you

(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you
hide it because:

(a) you felt ashamed

(b) you felt uneasy

(c) you don't know

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you
and you took only my friend's because:

(a) you enjoyed my disappointment

(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing

(c) you don't know

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus

(a) you were waiting for me

(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus

(c) that bus was crowded

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom

(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me

(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

8)I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a
rose on your head because:

(a) to fulfill my wish

(b) you like roses

(c) by chance you got a rose

9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at
6:00 AM because:

(a) you want to pray along with me

(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday

(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay

in expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is

budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have

scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.

Eagerly awaiting your reply..

love,

Aakash

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format.

Aakash,

Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the
class, sees them.

(a) Yes

(b) No

2) If a girls laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes

(b) No

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she
stop singing or not ?

(a) Yes

(b) No

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.
You poked your nose inside, right ?

(a) Yes

(b) No

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes

(b) No

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?

(a) Yes

(b) No

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes

(b) No

You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?

(a) Yes

(b) No

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I
come daily to Temple. Do you know?

(a) Yes

(b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not
lovingyou. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning
of Love.

Hope everything is clear to you.
swapna

The Corporate Language

The 'Corporate' language !!

'We will do it'
means
'You will do it'

'You have done a great job'
means
'More work to be given to you'

'We are working on it'
means
'We have not yet started working on the same'

'Tomorrow, first thing in the morning'
means
'Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !'.

'After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views'
means
'I have already decided, I will tell you what to do'

'There was a slight miscommunication'
means
'We had actually lied'

'Lets call a meeting and discuss'
means
'I have no time now, will talk later'

'We can always do it'
means
'We actually cannot do the same on time'

'We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline'
means
'The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.'

'We had slight differences of opinion'
means
'We had actually fought'

'Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you'
means
'Anyway you have to find a way out, no help from me'

'You should have told me earlier'
means
'Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!'

'We need to find out the real reason'
means
'Well I will tell you where your fault is'

'Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected'
means
'Well you know...'

'We are a team'
means
'I am not the only one to be blamed'

'That's actually a good question'
means
'I do not know anything about it'
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AND FINALLY, THE BEST OF ALL...
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'All the Best'
means
' You are in trouble'

Hrithik and Katrina Shootout

 

C.I.D. Special Dialoges

(1)
Apni mehenat ka pasina is tarah se na pochooo…
Waha wah…!!!



Apni mehenat ka pasina is tarah se na pochooo…
Waha wah…!!!


A.C.P. Pradyuman ne kaha "Socho Daya Sochoo…"



(2)

Teen tarah ke log hote hai……

Human……………………
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:
:

Super Human………………..
And.
:
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:
:
Aur kya?
:
:
:
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:
:
:
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:
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:
:
Apna ACP Pradhuman ☺ ☺



(3)

Hum tumhare pyaar me jaan bhi de denge
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Hum tumhare pyaar me jaan bhi de denge
Aur
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Aur
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Aur
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Doctor Salunke Murde se bhi sach ugalawa lenge.


(4)


5 rupaye ka ek samosa, 10 rupaye ke do…
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Gaur farmaiye…
5 rupaye ka ek samosa, 10 rupaye ke do…
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Abhijeet kuch to gadbad hai, Daya darwaza tod do….


(5)


English me gaay ko kahete hai cow………..

English me gaay ko kahete hai cow……………
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Kuch to baat hai DAYA, pata lagao!!!!!



(6)


bakwaas ki baaton main waqt zaaya mat karo...


bakwaas ki baaton main waqt zaaya mat karo...
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Daya, Abhijeet...Poori jagah ko achchi tarah search karo...


(7)

yeh hasin waadiyaan , yeh khula khula aakash



yeh hasin waadiyaan , yeh khula khula aakash






Wah Wah ......







"Daya aakhir gayi kaha Yahan ki Laaaash... !! "


(8)


Na bandook se maro..na bomb se maro…


Waah waah…


Na bandook se maro..na bomb se maro…

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ACP Pradyuman bole,chappa chappa chan maro……


(9)

Patni upwas rakhati hai jab hota hai karva chauth

Wah wah

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Patni upwas rakhati hai jab hota hai karva chauth



ACP Pradyuman keheta hai tume hogi ""SAZAYEE MAUT""…….


Now a Question:


ACP Pradyuman ka promotion kab hoga ??? .. Pichle 12 saal se bechara ACP hee hai !!!