group was especially charming. So I, like any other male, tried to put on a
wooing act. You know the routine, a nanosecond extra eye contact, a few more
nods to whatever she says, and attempts to throw in those one-liners which
you know you wouldn't if she weren't there. And it seemed to be working. She
leaned forward when she spoke to me, and every now and again, we'd have a
small conversation of our own, separate from our group. She laughed at my
approach with the fork and knife, and I teased her about her hair band,
which had little teddy bears.
Yes, we were flirting. A while later, she asked me the question - what
did I study? I said engineering, without any particular meaning attached to
it. And then like a cold metal rail, she went stiff. My jokes weren't funny
any more. Her eyes wandered to everyone else.
What was it?
Why? Why? Why?
Two days later, I still couldn't get over my great start that had
dissipated listlessly upon mentioning my education. Engineer? What was wrong
with that?
My mom had wanted me to become one since I was five! I had to call
her. 'So what happened to you that day, hot and cold, missie?' And then she
said, trying to be nice, 'Well, it's just that I am skeptical about
engineers as friends. I don't know, they can be, you know, very logical and
everything.not very touchy feely'.
Not touchy-feely. Now what the heck did that mean? Well, she obviously
did not mean it literally, since girls don't really suggest that sort of
stuff, certainly not in the first meeting across the table. I guessed it was
something to do with feelings, sort of having an emotional side. The
stereotype being, the nerdy guy who sees relationships like laws of physics,
to whom love is just a bunch of chemicals going crazy in your brain, and
getting to know a person means obtaining their bio-data.
It's time to set the record straight. It's true that a lot of what
engineers study (and they end up studying quite a lot), has to do with
formulaes, laws and numbers. No matter how hard we try, some of the
vocabulary we read all day gets into our language. So when my mother said,
'Are you getting married next year or not?' I was liable to say, 'Well, at
this moment in time, the probability is relatively low,' and felt it was
completely normal to say it. And when my sister went sari shopping and
couldn't explain the shade she wanted, I told the shopkeeper the percentages
of pink, orange and red in the sari.
Yet, ladies, I don't think we're bad at relationships, love and
getting to know people. We too, can be touchy-feely, as that is part of our
education as well. The reason for this is that most engineering students
live in the ultimate educator - boy's hostels.
Now, let me explain how this plays into this 'touchy-feely' thing.
Relationships. Imagine eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth, bathing (ok
rarely this one) and partying with the same people all the time. So, when
you are kicking that bathroom door down for the tenth time, or when you
stand in line for 'gulab-jamuns' in the mess, and when you are done with the
vodka bottle and sharing all your secrets, you know it is good practice.
Yes, hostels maketh the man.
So, next time you are in a flirtatious situation with the techno
types, go on, flirt a bit more. Of course, I am biased towards my kind, but
if you find the conversation turning too geeky, just ask them, 'So, what
were your hostel days like?' and chances are, you'll see a heart behind the
calculator.
Coming back to my missie, I thought of what would make me win her
over. Flowers. too cheesy. Music. don't know her taste (nor trust mine).
Teddy bears. don't even go there. Desperate for some good lines, I just
turned it right back at her. 'Yes, I know what you are saying about
engineers. The thing is, unless people with depth like you start hanging out
with us, we won't get any better. Can you meet me some time for some
touchy/feely. oops, I mean coffee/tea?'
She giggled. When they giggle,you have won.
Hence proved.
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