A HELL OF AN ANSWER FROM IIT GRADUATE

 

A HELL OF AN ANSWER


The following is an actual question given in IIT
chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor
shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed
or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell
and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for
the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume
of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives
two  possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by my girlfriend
during my freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I
slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I
am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct ...
leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting  "Oh
my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".