Software Engineer Joke

 

An ambitious software engineer finally decided to take a vacation. He

booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his

life.



At least for a while.



A hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost

instantly.

The man found himself swept up on the shores of an island with no

other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.



Used to five-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So, for the

next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old

life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.



One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the

corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he

had ever seen. She rowed up to him.



In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from, and how did you

get here?"



"I rowed from the other side of the island ," she said.

"I landed here when my cruise ship sank."



"Amazing," the software engineer said, "I didn't know anyone else had

survived. How many of you are there?

You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."



"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up: nothing

did."



He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?"



"Oh, simple," replied the woman. "I made it out of raw material that I

found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove

the bottom from palm branches , and the sides and stern came from a

eucalyptus tree."



"But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no tools or

hardware - how did you manage?"



"Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. "On the south side of the

island, there is a very unusual strata of exposed alluvial rock. I found that

if I fired it to a certain temperature, it melted into forgeable ductile

iron.

I used that to make tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But

enough of that. Where do you live?"



Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach

the whole time.



"Well, let's row over to my place then," she said.



After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf.

As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was

a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.



While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,

the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.



As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but

I call it home. Sit down, please.

Would you like to have a drink?"



"No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. "I couldn't drink another

drop of coconut juice."



"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have made a still -

How about a Pinacolada ?"



Trying to hide his continued amazement, the software engineer

accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.



After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm

going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to have a shower

and a shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."



No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There

in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a

hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism.



"This woman is absolutely amazing," he mused. "What next?"



When he returned, the woman greeted him. She beckoned for him to sit

down next to her. "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to

him, brushing her leg against his, "We've both been out here for a very

long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel

like doing right now, something you've been longing to do for all of these

months."



She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing -

this was like all of his dreams coming true in one day.





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"You mean...," he replied, "I can check my e-mail from here?"